A couple weeks ago I went through a phase here where, to be honest, I just sort of wanted to go home. Nothing in particular was wrong, I wouldn't describe the feeling as homesickness, I just wanted to take a real shower, eat some healthy food, have a nice big room. I was happy to be here, but I was also really happy to be going home in two months.
And now all of the sudden that changed. I received an email concerning Task Force, the hell-death class they make all IS majors take winter quarter senior year. I have been fearing it for two years, and now all of the sudden here it is. There will be many, many panic attacks.
Then I started thinking about life after college. Task Force will suck, sure, but I've been through this enough times to know it will end, I'll hyperventilate a little, calm down, do my work, rinse, repeat a few times, and the quarter will end. And then I have one more quarter and then... I walk off the edge. Real life, that thing. Ugh, I've been trying to hide from you. I don't have a plan. At all. And I'm aware of how irresponsible and unlike me that is, but I spent a few months of my life freaking out about it, and I realized it wasn't helping at all. So I stopped.
After France, all this stuff is going to start. And all of the sudden the sun here seems to shine a little brighter (all day everyday, be jealous Seattle!), the bread tastes better, Triolet seems bigger, and I really don't mind only half-understanding everyone.
And after visiting Barcelona, I was actually homesick...For Montpellier. All their inefficiencies and crappy sandwiches and the tiny room and the constant smell of pot, seeing the same great people everyday. I missed it all (especially, and I can't stress this enough, being able to communicate on some level). Montpellier you're slowly growing on me.
It's happening... the thing everyone said would happen: I don't want to leave.
No comments:
Post a Comment